Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The beer is more important than you right now.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
