I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
