Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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