yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Duck Duck Cougar?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Randomize
