are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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