everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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