I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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