Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
