:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
