I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
