The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
