I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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