Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it hurts more in the daytime
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
