no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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