ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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