dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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