At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
