my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
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I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
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You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
They have beer where we have blood.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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