so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
everyone is single if you try hard enough
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
