The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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