We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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