guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
