Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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