so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
