If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
