u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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