he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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