Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
