According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you mean i was at the winter classic?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
