I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
