So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
