she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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