I have demons in me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize