I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize