Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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