I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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