she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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