Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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