haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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