The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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