party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
