Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
