I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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