Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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