everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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