Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
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Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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