Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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