i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
