Fuck appropriateness.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
