Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I think i got beer on your cat.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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