If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
