I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
