My first STD was from a foam party
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
