i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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