What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize