I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
