i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
